I'll Give You Seen And Not Heard!
by 06shart
Summary: David Tennant in St Trinian's meets Matt Smith's doctor and Amy Pond. The Doctor gets very confused. Amy gets angry. Extremely angry at Sir Piers Pomfrey. First Doctor Who story, so please be nice and review :D


Amy's dress

http:/ coolhitmusic . blogspot. com/2010/04/ whos-most-stylish-red-head-around . html

**I'll Give You Seen And Not Heard!**

"So where are we going?" Amy asked, sitting in the captain's chair. The Doctor had promised to take her to Rio. Again.

"I told you! I am finally taking you to the brilliant place in the world, Rio!" the Doctor announced, fiddling with his sonic screwdriver. "Anyway! Shouldn't you dress more appropriately. In fact I think this is the first time I've seen you with that amount of clothes on. You're practically being Victorian!" the Doctor cried out, looking her over.

Amy was dressed in a floor length maxi dress. It was purple and had a v neckline. Her hair was curled slightly and she had her usual make up on.

"Victorian? I'll have you know I feel a bit on a down day" Amy huffed, glaring at her favourite man.

"A down day? How are you having a down day? You're not upside down are you? Unless I'm upside down as well which means I have to look at the antigravity clogs again" the Doctor rambled.

"A woman's down day is when she feels like she looks rubbish and just urgh! So I'm wearing this dress, plus it's not that covering up. Look it shows a lot of cleavage" Amy rolled her eyes, looking down at herself, pulling on her dress.

The Doctor's eyes followed her pulling of her dress down to her cleavage. "Err… yes… I suppose that… yes you're looking lovely" he stuttered, turning on his heel. "We should get to Rio!" he shouted, pulling on the universe stabilizer.

"Finally! A bit of glamour!" Amy cried, jumping up.

"Oi! I give you glamour all the time. What about the time when I took you to see the Shanting Mountains made entirely of Sapphires" the Doctor protested.

"Okay but what about the time after that when we got chased by big hairy man eating hedgehogs?" Amy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They weren't hedgehogs! They were Maximinus" the Doctor laughed. "Besides, after I explained to them that you weren't an impostor with hair of fire, they were fine" he shrugged, grabbing her hand.

Amy giggled, excited about going to Rio. It had been a life long dream of hers to go when they had a festival on. The Doctor pulled open the doors and pushed her outside into…

London.

"Rio? You call this Rio?" Amy growled, wrapping her arms around her in the rain. It was tipping it down and she was getting soaked.

The Doctor stepped out, shaking his hair. It splashed into Amy's face. "Well it could be Rio. On a very… rainy day" the Doctor muttered.

"Which you are making worse by shaking your hair!" Amy hissed, wiping her face. The Doctor just smiled his goofy smile and pushed his hair back. "Oh come on! We can take shelter in here" Amy chuckled, pulling him into a posh looking building.

The Doctor sighed, picking up random pieces of décor. "How boring! What am we going to do here?" the Doctor moaned, accidentally dropping a vase.

"Doctor!" Amy exclaimed, moving him away from any more statues or vases. She certainly didn't have enough money to pay for his mishaps.

"It's alright I'll go back and see the Roman potter who did this. He was a nice man. Should have shaved more often though, but hey can't complain" the Doctor shrugged.

Amy raised an eyebrow. "You met a Roman potter. What was he like? The Romans were always my favourite topic at school" Amy beamed, hooking arms with him as they walked up the stairs.

"Well he was a bit on the eccentric side. His wives were perfectly normal though" the Doctor informed her.

"Wives? How many wives did he have?" Amy gasped, looking expectantly up at the Doctor.

"Well when I was there I think it was around 3. But it could have gone up" the Doctor smiled, looking at her fondly.

"You should take me to see him one day. Maybe he'll sculpt me" Amy grinned, waggling her eyebrows. She would love to meet a real Roman.

"Knowing you, I think I should keep you well clear of any Romans. Wouldn't want you to suddenly get engaged to a Emperor or something" the Doctor frowned, tightening his grip of her.

"I wouldn't mind that" she winked.

"Well I would" the Doctor declared, stopping her in her tracks.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" a voice from above them shouted. They quickly looked up to see a man dressed in a suit. He had dyed grey hair that showed his natural brown colour. He was thin and had thin features. He sounded very upper class.

"Impossible" the Doctor breathed, staring up at the man.

"Err… I'm Amy and this is the Doctor" Amy introduced, seeing as the Doctor was completely gob smacked at the sudden appearance of this man.

The man ignored her as he walked down to them. "You man! How did you get into here? It clearly states on the sign outside that it is closed for the day" he snapped.

"Oh… yes sorry! We erm… we are from the council. We wish to give this a health and safety check" the Doctor explained, quickly showing him his psychic paper. While the man was busy the Doctor quickly looked him up and down.

"Amazing… near enough a perfect replica. But I would have remembered" the Doctor mumbled, smelling the man.

"The Doctor and Amy Pond" the man murmured, passing the wallet to the Doctor. "Will you stop sniffing me!" he snapped, taking a couple of steps away from the Doctor. "I take it you came to shelter from the rain. Now I'm Sir Piers Pomfrey. Please be my guest. I'll have tea and biscuits brought up to you" he smiled.

"Good can you please send up some towels. We're soaked" Amy groaned. Sir Pomfrey sneered, a look of disgust coming to his face.

"I'll see what I can do" he muttered, before showing them into a room.

"What a complete jackass! He just completely ignored me. I mean what's so special about you" Amy ranted. The Doctor shushed her running a hand through his hair again. "You just shushed me!" Amy gasped.

"He looks exactly like me in my last generations. Apart from the fact that he doesn't have enough hair and it's grey! Who dyes their hair grey?" the Doctor exclaimed, scanning the area. "It doesn't seem to have any time residue" he frowned.

"So you think it's you?" Amy questioned, sitting down in her chair. "Hey have you got a hair band or something?" Amy asked.

"Of course it's me! It's only me who has this face! Well not this face… that face… his face… still my face" the Doctor yelled, searching through his pockets.

"I'm confused…" Amy sighed, picking up a bag full of doughnuts and some paper clips. "Why have you got all this rubbish in your pocket?" Amy giggled.

"Here, don't say I don't give you anything Pond" the Doctor grinned, passing her a band. It was decorated with small green jewels.

Amy gasped, holding the band in her hand. "Where did you get this? It's incredible" Amy breathed, tracing the emeralds with her fingers. "It's beautiful Doctor, I can't have this" Amy muttered.

"Why can't you? It's something that I can get easily enough. Besides it suits you. It was made on a planet called Stardust. They have great hills and mountains made of dust. But the people they make them into jewels. And they are so beautiful!" the Doctor explained, closing her hand. "So I want you to keep it Amy" he whispered, kissing her head.

The door opened to reveal a maid carrying a tray. There was one cup of tea on it with 3 shortbread biscuits. "I think we ordered two cups of tea" the Doctor smiled.

"I'm sorry Sir, but Sir Pomfrey only told me to bring one up for you" the girl replied, a thick heavy Scottish accent. Her bottom lip trembled.

"Oh it's alright… I'm sure Pond wouldn't mind sharing my wonderful cup of tea" the Doctor assured.

"Your cup of atrocious tea! You have 5 sugars and a tiny bit of milk! How can you call that tea?" Amy cried out, putting her hair back into place.

"Hey! That is a beautiful cup of tea! Don't mock the cup of tea!" the Doctor warned. Amy giggled, taking a sip out of the cup before spitting it back out. The Doctor grinned, drinking his tea.

"Ah, Doctor. I hope you are enjoying your tea. I thought you might like how I take my tea" Sir Pomfrey smiled, coming into the room.

"You have your tea like that as well? Amy isn't that brilliant. It's completely improbable but not impossible might I add. Maybe I should just shut up" he rambled.

"Yes completely agree" Amy mumbled.

"One thing that I don't agree on is that you haven't given my friend a drink. She was also in the rain and is more likely to catch her death dressed in that. Yet you haven't provided anything for her" the Doctor stated.

Sir Pomfrey frowned as though the Doctor had gone completely mental. "Provide for her? But she is only a woman" he shrugged.

"WHAT!" Amy yelled, making the Doctor wince.

"Amy I'm sure Sir Pomfrey didn't mean it in that way" the Doctor soothed, grabbing onto Amy.

"Women are to be seen and not heard. So just do us a favour and stand in the corner looking pretty. There's a good girl" Sir Pomfrey instructed her.

"Let me at him Doctor!" Amy growled, struggling in his arms. "I'll show him what women are supposed to do to sexist pigs like him" Amy bristled.

"You there my good lady. Would you mind sitting on her?" the Doctor asked the maid. However she took one look at Sir Pomfrey and scurried out of the room.

The Doctor sighed and forced Amy into a chair. "Now sit! Lets have an adult conversation" The Doctor suggested. Amy huffed and crossed her arms. "Now Sir Pomfrey where are we exactly?" the Doctor asked.

"You are at AD1, a organisation that thinks men should be the rulers of society" Sir Pomfrey explained, raising an eyebrow. "Don't you agree Doctor?" he asked.

"I've met many extraordinary women Sir Pomfrey. So I'll have to disagree with you there" the Doctor said sharply.

"If you are scared of your woman's reaction don't be. Women are made for only a couple of things…" Sir Pomfrey shrugged.

"Finish that sentence it will be your last" Amy threatened, getting up out of her seat.

"You sit or I'll get a universal defiant impregnable mass on you" the Doctor told her. Amy just frowned and glared at Sir Pomfrey.

"Well it is true. Women are for making babies and baking cakes" Sir Pomfrey smiled, crossing his hands. He looked like an evil dictator.

Amy surged forward towards him. The Doctor however with his quick reflexes, quickly pushed her back onto the seat and sat on her.

"Oomph! Doctor, you're kind of heavy" she groaned, trying to breathe under the sprawled Time Lord. Who would have thought he was that heavy?

"Now Sir Pomfrey I suggest that any sexist comment should be kept to oneself. Otherwise I don't think a herd of Space Rhinos could stop Amy from ripping you to pieces" the Doctor warned.

"How strange you are Doctor. You keep talking about things from space. You sound like an intellectual man. Too intellectual to be working for the council" Sir Pomfrey told him, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Do you have dreams Sir Pomfrey? Of things that you can't explain. Of a big blue box called the TARDIS" the Doctor questioned, rubbing his head.

"What are you on about? What are you a doctor of?" Sir Pomfrey asked.

"A doctor of science and life. This and that really" the Doctor grinned, as though this question was his favourite in the galaxy. It might be for as much as Amy knows.

"Ah… I like a man of science. They can prove the fact scientifically that men are the stronger sex" Sir Pomfrey smiled.

"Physically they may be, because of muscle mass but women are equally strong" the Doctor shrugged, looking nervously behind him at Amy.

"Yeah I'm still here if you've forgotten. My legs are dead. Shift!" she ordered. The Doctor did move, but only to the arm of the chair. He was in perfect position to stop her moving.

"Now Doctor, would you like a tour?" Sir Pomfrey asked. The Doctor grinned, his love of everything historic egging him on. He nodded and they all got up.

"Do you think if I push him down the stairs, anyone will miss him?" Amy whispered quietly into the Doctor's ear. The Doctor shook his head and grabbed her hand.

"Come on Pond, I'll explain all the people to you" he persuaded, pulling her along behind Sir Pomfrey. Amy let out a small smile which the Doctor grinned at. Result!

"Now here we have a sculpture that…" Sir Pomfrey was saying before the Doctor interrupted.

"Leonardo Di Vinci. He was amazing, quite a ladies man. But hey! Who wasn't in those days?" the Doctor informed them. Amy giggled, an image of the Doctor joining Di Vinci in a bar. He smiled back as though he could see the image in her mind.

"Anyway Doctor! I see you're educated, how about this?" Sir Pomfrey smiled.

"Dante Gabriel Rossetti. One of the founders of the Pre Raphaelite Brotherhood. He used to paint such wonderful pictures. But he couldn't get into the Academy of Arts" the Doctor sighed. Amy laid a hand on his shoulder. It was obvious he was sad about what happened.

"That's right, him and all the other members of the brotherhood are proudly on display. They changed modern art. After all, art wasn't for women then, oh no. It was a man's world" Sir Pomfrey sneered, taking them around.

"I'm getting really sick and tired of him" Amy growled. The Doctor shot her a sympathetic look.

"Sir Pomfrey, I think it's time for us to be going" The Doctor announced. Sir Pomfrey raised an eyebrow, showing them into the room they were in before.

"Of course Doctor, I'm sure an intelligent man like you must be busy" he nodded. The Doctor nodded and swiftly left the room.

"Make sure you give him enough babies. We need more men like him. I'm sure even YOU can handle that" Sir Pomfrey spat.

Amy's eyes flared to life and she grabbed him by his lapels. "Me and the Doctor are not together. You've had this coming for a long time" Amy growled, smirking at a terrified Pomfrey.

**DADADADADADADADADADADA**

"You were a long time, where have you been?" the Doctor frowned, whirling around the console. Amy smiled and sat down in the Captain's chair.

"Just went to the toilet you know" she grinned, thinking about what she had done. The Doctor gave her a suspicious look before turning the scanner towards her direction.

"And in a bizarre twist, Sir Piers Pomfrey. Known leader of AD1 has been found naked hanging off the side of his hideout by a pair of tights wrapped around his arms. No statements have been made. We go over to Lucy Taylor who has more" a BBC news reporter informed the world.

"That's tonight at 6 news. I thought I told you to leave Sir Pomfrey alone" he frowned.

"Oh lighten up Doctor. He needed to be brought down a peg or two. I took him down five that's all. Anyway someone should have done that a LONG time ago" Amy giggled.

"I suppose. I can't take you anywhere" he sighed, a small smile on his face.

"Anyway how about RIO!" Amy shouted, dancing around the console.

"Won't you be a bit wet in those?" the Doctor wondered, staring at his mad companion.

"I DRESSED FOR RIO!" Amy cried. The Doctor just beamed and let out an infectious laugh.

"Rio it is then" he declared, sending them into space.


End file.
